Priorities.

While it appears I've been slacking off in bloggerland, I assure you I've been as productive as possible in the real world lately. I drove approximately 25 hours last week round-trip (between 9 home, 5 to Front Royal, 3 to Roanoke, 7 back to Nashville, and various rides in between and around town). It seemed longer than 8 days, but in the best way possible.
Now that I'm back, my mom tells me that it's time to get back to "the real world." To which I reply, "This IS my real world." It's as if because I live so far from home, when I do visit and see everyone like I did, it's a huge privilege. I don't think this should be the case. It isn't a privilege for me; it's a requirement. I should be seeing those little boys at least once a month (every weekend if I had my way), should be seeing my mom more than just at Christmas, spring, and fall, and laughing hysterically with my hoebag in person more than once every 6 months. But because my "real world" is 9 hours away, those things are special occasions and make me value them all the more when they happen. It was a perfect trip home, filled with family and friends, laughing and loving, hugs and kisses. I adore every word that spills out of my 7 year old nephew's mouth; he is every bit of sunshine in my life and I glowed with happiness when he told me I took him on the "best day and errand ever" (picking out his birthday presents), and while playing video games beside him that I was "his favorite aunt in the world, ever" (a feat, with 5 other aunts!). Seeing my 4 year old nephew no longer a baby, but having conversations, watching Owen play soccer and Cub Scouts...I refuse to let another year and a half go by without seeing them. The thought that the next time I see him, he might be turning 9...it's unbearable.
I know some people would blame my trip home for how I feel, but I don't see it that way. If anything, this trip home reminded me of just how much I need to set my priorities in order. I don't know what it'll take, but it requires more trips home. My family is the most important thing in the world to me and it is because of them I am still standing. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about how much I love them, cheesy as it sounds. There are no major decisions to be made; just to be carried out. I won't go into details just yet because I don't know them right now. But I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure that I'm the aunt Owen goes running to at 16 when my brother's taken his car keys away, that I'm the one he visits on Spring Break. I don't mean this to sound harsh, but I'm done living my life for other people's happiness, because this trip reminded me of what makes me happy, and changes must be made in order to achieve these goals. It's time to live my life the way I keep saying it should be. I feel energized and determined, and I haven't felt this streak of renewal in a while. Now if I can just get my stars aligned, we can get this thing in motion.
I feel like I've got some pretty good things in the works. E is designing my photography logo, as well as my website, so that should finally put some things in motion. I'm applying to jobs left and right, and just hoping to get a few phone calls back. I've got some spring cleaning to do (ie weed out my closet), and to my surprise I've lost 10 pounds in the last month. (Maybe unemployment suits me?) So I'll be keeping that up. Priorities. It's all about priorities right now and I think I finally have everything in the correct order.
LC.