We Don't Want No Drama.

I don't really like to admit that I'm an adult. I mean, I do adult things, like pay bills, work 40+ hours a week, and live in sin with a boy (as his family lovingly teases us). But I also do silly, asinine things like go out for a beer at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, play video games and talk smack when I'm winning, or giggle for an hour on the phone with my best friend.
T commented the other day that lately I've become so busy, the only time she's going to see me is during the photography class we're taking Monday nights for 9 weeks. While she will see me more than that, it made me stop and think about my schedule--suddenly, it's blown up and my pink pen has nearly choked to death getting all my activities down on paper. Suddenly I'm meeting brides, working with photographers, scheduling shoots with musicians, taking Italian on Thursdays, Photography on Mondays (starting in 2 weeks), and somehow still managing to see my friends at random times on the weekends. I never think I'm doing a lot--I mean, I still find time to sit with my dog on the couch and watch Rock of Love--er, I mean Planet Earth--but my mom even commented on how she doesn't want me to get in over my head and be too involved. Naturally, that's her way of saying "Don't stress yourself out" but she's also talking to someone who worked part time at a radio station, wrote for a school newspaper, DJed at her college radio station, acted as Senator with the student government, chaired concerts, and somehow made Dean's List. I don't really know how not to "overdo it" because that's simply who I am. It's just been buried beneath the layers of sarcasm and ass-fat I've accumulated over the last 2 years, along with my motivation and creativity. I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of that black hole that was my stubbornly depressed little life. If you've read any of my previous entries, it shows my rising happiness living in Nashville, doing things, meeting people, creating, finally being motivated. And with all that happening, my confidence is coming back. I can talk to strangers first; I don't mind talking in front of groups of adults even though I'm the youngest there; and I sound knowledgeable when I'm passionate about something.
I digress. The point is, I think I can maybe, possibly, kinda sorta admit that I might be acting like an adult. And I'm happy about this. I'm happy that I'm no longer surrounded by people like in high school and college, where I always had to watch my back for drama. If you do the adult thing properly, you can manage to keep drama out of your life, and I am so thankful for that. I feel like I have surrounded myself with good, kind people who are my friends because they want to be, not because they have to work with me on a project or I'm a board member who can kick their ass at a moment's notice. I had to be tough in college and I know I intimidated people, but I kept up that facade because if I didn't, I'd get taken for granted. I don't have to be that tough girl anymore; I'm still sarcastic, but in a much more relaxed fashion (for my Nashville friends, boy if you think I'm sarcastic NOW..!). I don't have to defend myself with friends, or explain my choices. They listen and are there for me because they genuinely care. I've been freaking out a lot less lately, too. I think it's funny because before when I wigged, I really didn't have anyone to turn to besides 1 person, and she didn't even live nearby. But now that I have people to vent with, we really don't have that much to complain about! There will always be work and coworker complaints; but as far as friends go, none of us have ever said something negative about the other to a third party. Maybe part of this is because most of my friends here are slightly older than me and aren't still in the "he said, she said" mindset of gossip. But maybe it's supposed to be that way. You know--real friends, real life, no unnecessary drama. I finally have a little niche where life is good, despite the strains and surprises it may have in the future.
When it comes down to it, I'm kind of digging this "Being an adult" thing. Though I may take that back when I hit 30.
LC.