Goodbye 2008.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas; I know I did. I spent nearly every second with my mom, and it was great. She's the only person who can make me laugh so hard in the Target aisles that I have to run to a bathroom, and we laughed so hard during our Saturday lunch that both of us desperately needed waterproof mascara. We spent every second at home under blankets, in pajamas, on the couch watching Criminal Minds and I loved every minute.
However, for perhaps the first time since moving to Nashville, yesterday I was ready to come back. Usually, I have to be dragged into the car back to Tennessee, but this time I was eager and willing to be back in my house, exuding sarcasm with M, C, & B at work, and get the ball rolling on 2009. Maybe, finally, I feel comfortable enough to call Nashville my home. Granted, I have a lot of things to look forward to in the next few weeks, but I think it's finally what I've been looking for; the past times upon return, I've had nothing here but work and TV. This time around, it's completely different. I have so much it feels as though it might explode, and suddenly I remember why I love life that way--bursting at the seams.
I'm having a New Year's Eve party at the house and I made the smart move of telling my mom. While she hates attending parties, there's nothing she likes more than planning them, and boy did she ever. There was only a little slice of clear back window to peer out of in the truck thanks to the pile of decorations she gathered for me. I'll be dreaming of disco balls for the next two weeks, I'm sure of it. Blue and silver everything--platters, utensils, candles, party favors...the list goes on. Should everyone who says they're showing do (or risk incurring my wrath), it should be around 12-15 people. Lots of great food, drinks, Wii & other games, with party favors galore come midnight. I'm ready for 2009--it could very possibly be my favorite year yet if what I think could happen does.
I'm even looking forward to after this event. I posted a link to my photography with an offer for free photos to my East Nashville listserv, and I've gotten such great positive responses. I'm meeting with a mother to take photos of her son on Sunday afternoon, meeting with a wedding photographer to discuss becoming her assistant, and possibly offering my photos to a woman who is interested in posting them in her building, where lobbyists and legislators occupy. My heart has grown ten sizes in love of East Nashville (as if I could love it any more than I already do), and to add to it, I managed to strike up the courage to give my email to a guy who I wanted to take photos of--it turns out he's a musician in need of new photos for promo of his new album. I finally feel as though I'm getting a foot in some doors, and every single opportunity matters.
I'm also starting my photography class at Watkins in February, as well as my intermediate Italian class at the end of January. I'll be busy on Monday and Thursday nights, and M and I still want to volunteer with the Untitled Artists Group on Wednesday nights. I had so many new ideas for art projects when I was home and I'm really excited to put them in motion. E and I are having our own photoshoot this weekend during her visit; we'll be each other's models and we have some really neat ideas; I can't wait to see how they turn out and then post them up as evidence of our creative genius together.
I know when I visited Longwood in October, I said it didn't feel like home anymore. And at the time, I didn't know if I felt comfortable calling Nashville home either. But finally, finally I think I can say that I'm glad to be home.
I am so excited for 2009--not to see what it brings to me, but rather, what I can bring and achieve in it.
-LC.

Have Done/Will Do.

This weather is killer on my moods. It's been raining practically nonstop for the last week and a half, and looks to keep on raining next week as well. I'm pretty tired of the clouds and rain, and wouldn't mind a little sunshine. It looks like I'm getting my wish on Sunday at least. J's brother and sister-in-law are in town for the Steelers game, and I'm lucky enough to go freeze my patookis off in the predicted 38 degree stadium. I can't decide what's better: 50 and rainy, or sunny at 38. Blah. I am, however, very stoked for the next couple of weeks because of several things. First, I'm going home to my mom for Christmas. 5 days of being home. Then as soon as we get back, I'm having what will be a fabulous New Year's Eve shindig, which I'm really excited for just because of all the things already planned, much less the actual events that go down.

Show the local artists some love and check out the free show tonight at East Gallery around the block from my house. Their show was originally last week, and got bumped up to tonight, so if you're interested in art and want to see your city's very own talented folks, head on over between 6-10pm. It looks like there are going to be a lot of really cool pieces there. M and I are discussing volunteering with them after the holiday madness is over, and that way maybe we can present our own pieces later on. They meet every Wednesday evening if you're interested.

So if you haven't noticed, Christmas is next week. I honestly have no idea where 2008 went. We were just ringing it in a hot second ago, and it's gone. In honor of the upcoming new year, I think I'm going to make an "Accomplishments" list of all the things I got done this year, as well as a "Goals" list for 2009.

In 2008, I:
Got a moneymaking, better scheduled job. Moved downtown to a house. Made really great friends, including one in Rome, as well as a close knit East Nashville niche. Got a proper camera for photography. Started photography blog and sites, as well as this blog(!). Joined a gym (and went!). Created--photos, gifts, paintings. Made some solid contacts in regards to said photography. Reconnected with a long-lost sibling. Finally learned my mom's chocolate chip cookie recipe!

In 2009, I will:
Take the photography class at Watkins School of Art & Design in their Community Education Program starting in February. Take the intermediate Italian course with Patrizia starting in January. Travel. Market and establish my photography to start a side business. Create more--read, write, paint, learn, study. Learn Photoshop and my Mac. Recycle more! Eat meat less. Go to the gym more. Learn and execute delicious recipes. Volunteer with Untitled Artists Group Nashville.

I know there are so many more I'm forgetting or not anticipating. It's an ever growing list, both in the things I've done, and want to do, and I think that's a good thing. I never want to stop learning; I'm forever a student of life and it should only get better as it continues.

In case you don't hear from me until after the new year, safe travels and happy holidays to you and yours.

LC.

Handmade Italian Soaps.

I just bought these soaps from Saponissimo on her Etsy page. I'm so, so excited because these look so beautiful I could just eat them. I found them through Michelle over at Bleeding Espresso. She had some beautiful suggestions for gifts and I made the mistake of clicking on them and now I'm Etsy-obsessed this morning. But these soaps! They're handmade soaps from Italy off the Amalfi coast and I can't wait to get them into my shower! Yum. Or maybe I'll be nice and give at least one to someone :) If you go to Michelle's page and check out that beautiful photo for Sara's Art she's got some beautiful things up for sale, too. I adore that bracelet with the heart on the end.





TGIF. I'm off to see the Nutcracker tomorrow and am soooo excited!!

LC.

Paintings & The Nutcracker.

Some beginner's tries at painting canvas. It's fun, though certainly challenging to keep it off my coffee table and clothes.

The first two are going to my 6 and 4 year old nephews. They like colors and funky designs, so I thought it was appropriate. The next few are for my own benefit; the one with the weird lines and circles was my first painting attempt since the 4th grade, so I've learned that until my right brain gets a little more exercise, I need to sketch it out rather than freehand whatever I feel like. The word by the tree is "Sperare" which means "To hope" in Italian; that's a personal favorite for me and perhaps the one I've spent the most time on. The final one is for my mother, and it translates from Italian to "Find Happiness. I love you." It's one of her Christmas gifts. I hope she likes it.










Speaking of Italian, I applied for my passport today and shipped off a package to Rome. I'm so immensely excited to have the passport in my hands I have to remind myself to put it in a safe place. I told E I was going to carry it on my person at all times, until he not-so-gently reminded me that it might not be the safest there, as I tend to become the drowned water rat from crashes of roadwater rage. Thanks. Big Italian bubble-burster. So it's going to be tucked away and I'll continue to remind myself that just because I can now hop around the globe, I'm poor and don't have the right funds to do so just yet. Either way, it's still very exciting to me because it makes next September all that more real.
In more news, by a fluke chance I ended up buying two tickets to the Nashville Ballet for this Saturday afternoon to see the Nutcracker. I'm not a very Christmas-spirit kind of person, but the Nutcracker--wow. I was obsessed as a little girl and it was the whole reason I looked forward to Christmas at all. It was my favorite thing ever as a kid; my mom and I used to watch the VHS tape of the ballet for hours upon hours. I remember being very little and my Uncle T gave me a large edition of the Nutcracker story; it was then I began to refer to my new imaginary friend at the Nutcracker. Perhaps the ballet will stir the child's fire in my soul. I'm really excited about it and can't wait to see the newly updated "Nashville version" of Clara's beautiful, colorful dream world. I think I won't be able to help but be inspired.

Happy painting.
LC.

Happy Birthday Jim.

Today would have been Jim Morrison's 65th birthday. Who knows, maybe he IS 65 today, if you believe in those rumors that he faked his death. I personally don't buy it; Pamela Courson was too heartbroken to continue with her life after she found him in the tub. Had he lived, she would've, too. Crazy as their relationship was, it was a codependent one that couldn't be pulled apart despite the problems. I have to admit, I'm a huge Doors fan, and an even bigger Morrison fan. I wrote my senior thesis on his lyrics and were I still in school, would still be writing of the similar nature.

I don't love the idea of Jim Morrison: sex god, rock star, forever legend. I love what he represented. He wanted change, he wanted people to acknowledge their existence, think bigger in terms of their lives. I wrote a piece on him when I first started this blog, and I won't post the whole thing again, but rather bits and pieces for my own benefit of why I admire his work:

"I don't believe he was rebellious because he was angry. I believe he was rebellious because he wanted to create change. You have to remember the era he came from--the 50s, while many times depicted as Cleaver-family dinners and hula hoops with sunshine, was also full of oppression, segregation, and that little thing called the Cold War. The '60s were full of those who wanted change--for women, African-Americans, America in general. The 60s were an explosion of color, opinion, music, freedom and ideas--a modern day Renaissance, if you will.

Morrison was ahead of his time. Think of the music in that era, and then reintroduce yourself to the Doors; their flamenco style, dark sound and sex appeal. They were creating noises that could not have previously been fathomed, and those hippies just adored it. As a former radio disc jockey who wrote her senior thesis on "The End," I'd like to say I know a little bit about lyrics. In a time of Beach Boys and flower children, Morrison introduced Nietzsche, Freud, and Dionysus into his words which was absolutely unheard of. And sometimes, the hippies were too stoned out of their faces to understand, but Morrison truly wanted them to hear it, to get it. Constantly screaming "WAKE UP!" to his audiences, it wasn't about getting attention for attention's sake; it was to be heard, to understand exactly what it was that was going on in their world. He always told others they were slaves; slaves to the government, slaves to their parents, slaves to themselves, unable to break out of their boxes.

As a great poet once said, "Now is blessed the rest remembered." As in, the present, right now, is what we make of it, while history is remembered for what it is. If you don't like it, then do something about it.

And if you were wondering who wrote that brief poem--none other than the Lizard King.

"Dreams are at once fruit & outcry against an atrophy of the senses. Dreaming is no solution." -Jim Morrison"

I love that quote. Sure, you can dream. But you need to act, be brave enough to make it more than just your wishes...Because what's the point of having dreams if you never go after making them reality?

Happy Birthday Jim. I'm sorry you're not around to see the world today. Then again, maybe you'd be just as depressed as you were back then. Either way, thanks for giving me inspiration.

Speaking of which, I got the photography blog up and will start adding to it. It's on my profile page should you want to check it out.

LC.

Photography Blog.

I'm finally going to bite the final bullet and create a photography blog. Lele Green has a beautiful page up that is inspiring me to take the leap. I have a Flickr page, and a Myspace page (both located under "For Your Entertainment" links towards the bottom here, should you be bored enough to check them out), and I guess I need to learn how to market myself properly now. I feel my techniques are getting stronger the more I practice. I've been out with Tabitha Hawk a couple of times and she's really helping me creatively as far as textures and angles go. Out of all the essentials necessary to a great photo, textures and angles are my favorite, my focus. I've only done one wedding, and I'm not exactly sure how to go about getting things such as engagement photos. I'm mostly a "take a picture of anything" photographer--food, nature, buildings, events, etc. I've got a few musician friends who I'm going to try to bribe into modeling for me, because I think I've taken enough of J, plus he's really uncomfortable in front of a camera since he's more a songwriter than musician. I need to meet up with other, more experienced photographers to see how they direct their subjects, frame, and set up. And as I said in my previous post, I need to learn Photoshop. That's the only good thing I can about my not knowing Photoshop--if I take a really good photo, it's because it's a good photo, not because I knew how to trick it on the computer. Now I need to take a good photo, and enhance it to look even better. Once I get my Mac, I'll be able to start bumbling through CS3. I think I'm also going to sign up for the 9 week Photography class at Watkins to meet others and learn some tricks. Most of any spare cash will be saved towards my trip to Rome next summer, but I'm going to see if maybe I can also try to save for a different lens. Photography is an expensive damn hobby. Then again, so is painting. No wonder artists are starving.
Gah. I'll start working on the blog very soon. Then figure out where to go from there. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up since I've got such a strong support group.
LC.

Mi Dispiace.

I apologize for not writing as much lately (to the total of approximately 4 loyal readers). I haven't been up for writing lately, and I need to get back into it. Even if it's just to write a little paragraph per day. I've been busy, which is at least a good excuse, and not just with useless things such as watching TV, but with creative things such as taking pictures with Tabitha Hawk, painting, and getting Christmas shopping done. Okay, and watching too much TV too, but I've been wrapping and painting while doing it, so cut me some slack. I'm really proud of some of the gifts I've made, mostly because they're all from me rather than the local department store. I'm framing my photos for my family, and some of them came out more beautifully than I anticipated, which pleased me greatly. My brother has set up a Mac mini for me and I should receiving that this week, I believe. I'm excited, first because I'm finally going to learn the Mac system a little, and secondly because he's put the whole kit and caboodle on it--Toast, Garage Band, Adobe CS3, even the Harry Potter audio books for me because he is thoughtful that way. I'm determined to learn more Photoshop for my photography. He's installed WiFi on it as well, and it's going to be my computer, staying in the front room. J will be keeping the other computer in the back room where he can record and practice his music. I just need a monitor and I'm ready to go. But I plan to do a lot more creatively with this computer; I want to do more with photography, design, and as I said before, write more, even if it's just a little each day. If I practice at my creativity, I'll get better at it. It's just like stretching your muscles before a workout--it gets easier as you get more adapted to it (I learned that from one of the authors my company published).
I've been trying to shake the feelings of guilt since my grandfather died last week. My mother is going through a rough time right now and I never know what to expect when I call her--some days she's willing to laugh and joke, like last night, and other nights she cries and won't talk to me for very long. I know that even if I were an hour away from her, she'd tell me to stay where I was because there's nothing I can do. But sometimes I can't help but feel angry at myself for being 8 hours away, for being just a voice on the phone. I'm hoping that when I go home at the end of the month, things will have gotten a little easier for her, and I can lessen the guilty feelings I have over the distance. I am so much like her; if something were to happen to her, or anyone close to me, I would react the same way. I would refuse to be around people when I didn't have to be and I wouldn't come out until I was ready. It's already hard enough to make me go out in a normal day because I consider myself a bit of a loner. But in the wake of a tragedy, it would be damn near impossible. As far as right now goes, I'm trying hard to make sure she knows I'm there for her. That's all I can do, all anyone can do.
I'm boring lately and I don't really have much to report. My brother kept telling me to find my joy. Take time for myself and no one else. So I'm trying to do that more. I'm waiting, hoping that certain things come through. I'm reading, writing, painting, creating. I'm doing pretty well at it so far, I think.

LC.